I hope this won't sound as a gradeschooler back-to-school New Year's resolution essay cliché: to simply put, starting is always easy, going through it is always hard. Because of that, some would choose to stop in midst of everything. Before, I've been always afraid of stopping elsewhere just because I fear losing momentum. 2017 taught me that stopping sometimes mean refreshing and relearning. Stop because you're tired. Stop because it ain't going anywhere anymore. Stop because this time, I needed help.
It's sort of hard to pull yourself out of something you've been dreaming to do, something you've been doing for quiet some time. I'm pretty good at time management, I'm sure of that, but all this time I felt exhausted. I suddenly missed having a normal weekend (which actually meant rest for most but otherwise for a freelencer self). All this time, I needed rest (aside from sleep). I needed to reset.
There was a time that I hated Instagram's algorithm: decreasing number of followers everyday, lesser likes, lesser engagement. But i'm grateful that during that moment, I was away. Travel (I was in Japan that time) made me feel every freakin' moment that I missed all the times that I was busy. I get to appreciate fresh air, how my companions that time laugh and talk (I'm really a quiet type of traveller, I'm more into observing), how the food tasted--everything!
It was only during before bedtime that I post some photos about the day's itinerary and did not even bother reply to comments because I'm on reset. I'm on "I'm gonna post anything no matter how it would make my feed not curated anymore". During our last night in Osaka, I had a video call with my constants--my closest friends/travel buddies. When I came back to Manila, it's as if I haven't seen them for a year! They were telling me that they were waiting from my posts and always eager to double tap every post I have. I have realized, "likes" from these people are the only "double taps" that mattered to me--all the freaking time. Let me count, I only have these constants for less than the count of the fingers of my 2 hands. I have few but I'm so blessed to have them!
From then on, we always have dinners on Mondays (because we all hate Mondays) after their work. I fetch them to exchange stories on how weekends and Monday went. It sort of became a support group so we traveled andhad food trips a lot together, get feedbacks about my artworks-- simpler things that I missed out the whole time I was busy. 2017 was also the year anxiety took over causing me to procrastinate everything because I'm not in the mood to hustle. It was even a year of pushing myself away from my passion because I'm tired of my slow progress. Thankful for my friends who are coincidentially education and allied health professionals for helping me survive the struggle and at least minimize habits of thinking about unnecessary whatabouts. I forgot that even slow progress is still a progress--no matter how minute it is.
2017 was also the year that made me celebrate my independence in which I already have for years but took for granted. It was a year for my personal whims so I get to travel, sleep, eat and try new things more than I did last 2016, thus, being "substance-less" in social media (just posting because I have to promote an event or workshop). Summarizing my "woke" years in one word:
2015 - ACCEPTANCE // 2016 - SURPRISES // 2017 - REST
My one word for 2017 is GROW: grow from experiences and grow for my threshold to accept what it is. It would be a means for me to grow opportunities and meaningful friendships, too!
Despite the struggles (I have failed more in 2017 than I succeeded), I got to work with new projects that made me get out of my comfort zone and be myself at the same time! I guess it's also an advantage that I had this REST year because I got to learn new things and re-learn what I already know!
How about you, what's your 2018 word? Feel free to share and let's motivate each other!
Happy New Year, earthlings!
PS: Download these wallpapers as a motivational push for you!
PPS: Planning to enroll in my Jan-Feb class? Get Php200 off! Just put the numbers 2018 in your first name in the form when registering! Disregard the amount to be emailed to you, you just need to pay Php200 off of the regular fee!